A teenager shows up at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. Marching straight into Professor Xavier’s office, he says “I want to join the X-Men!” “Oh?” Xavier asks the boy, “What powers do you have?” He responds, “I have the gift of perfect hindsight!” The Professor raises an eyebrow and says “Sorry, I don’t think that would be very useful.”
The teen replies, “Well yeah, I can see that now.”
There has always existed a “generation gap” between parents and their teenagers. There has continuously been perturbed parents saying, “you just can’t reason with teenagers; they want their own way; they won’t listen to advice; you can’t talk any sense to them”. But on the other hand, there have always been ticked off teenagers saying, “my parents just don’t get me; they are so out of touch; why can’t they just get off my back; they don’t know anything”.
Though this generation gap has always existed we must admit some other societal factors are new and evolving rapidly… the relatively modern proliferation of social media, access to smartphones, the decline in the educational system, political and social upheaval, the work and financial demands on parents, just to name a few of the dynamics at hand.
Psalm 119:89 Forever, O Lord, Your word [a]is settled in heaven.
Matthew 24:35 Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away.
Biblical Instructions to Parents
#1 Intentional Child-Training Is Needed.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, [a]And when he is old he will not depart from it.
To “train up” means careful teaching and guidance. To help the child to learn to love and serve God. To equip the child to be a productive and contributing member of society. Parents must remember they are not just raising children they are raising future adults. The best teaching has always been a consistent example because “more is caught than taught”. Alert and aware parents will look for teachable opportunities to impart valuable life lessons.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
#2 Child-Training Must Happen Early and Often.
Proverbs 19:18 Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart [a]on his destruction.
If a child doesn’t learn duty, discipline, respect, honor and so forth at home… he will have to be taught by the authorities in society. And when society must do the teaching there are consequence from principals, police officers, judges, employers etc. Think of it this way, one who trains a dog, or a horse must insist on obedience, or the training will be unsuccessful. Training a child is much the same, but with this important difference: while we train a dog so that he may please us, we train a child to know how to please God. For this reason, the training of a child is so very important. Children do not belong to us. God only lends them to parents for a short time. Sadly, many men spend hours training their dogs and keep them safe at home at night but spend hardly any time training their teenagers and let them run wild all night! Many parents just need a good dose of good old-fashioned common sense.
Romans 13:1-4 Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will [a]bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. 4 For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil.
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
#3 Parents Must Be Selective to Be Effective with Their Time and Energy
Proverbs 16:9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.
All children spell love, T.I.M.E. Parents must invest both quantity and quality time with their children. It is true that our lives are hectic, and the days are busy. But if the child senses their parent(s) are more interested in making money or pursing their own hobbies/interests than in raising them… they will get resentful and they will get bitter. When a child doesn’t feel “seen or heard” they will do whatever it takes to get their parents attentions… and often whatever it takes is destructive attitudes and actions. One of the most common complaints made by teenagers in counseling sessions is that their parents are just too busy for them, or their parents don’t show adequate interest in them. It has been astutely said of parenting “the days seem so long but the years seem so short”. Parents only have a finite amount of time to train, influence, coach, and prepare their children in preparation for their futures.
Psalm 90:12 So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Ephesians 5:15-16 See then that you walk [a]circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
#4 A Family That Has Fun and Laughs Together Stays Together
Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart [a]does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.
Just in case you have forgotten how to laugh and have fun check out this list! Just choose one and get started as a family today!!!
101 Weekend Family Activity Ideas – All Pro Dad
- Family bike rides
2. Game night
3. Neighborhood walks
4. Sports training
5. Yard work
6. Laundry day
7. Volunteer in the community
8. Family movie night or marathon
9. Read a book together
10. Wash the cars
11. Family slumber party
12. Create a scrapbook
13. Set up a lemonade stand
14. Have a garage sale
15. Walk (if possible) to a local ice cream place
16. Attend church together
17. Go rollerblading
18. Create “busy bags” for the kids to play with on road trips
19. Create a home version of a popular game show
20. Walk the dog or the neighbor’s dog
21. Bake cookies
22. Make Christmas ornaments
23. Play flag football
24. Play video games.
25. Create homemade birthday or holiday cards
26. Take a dance class
27. Take a karate class
28. Search for constellations/stars
29. Go on a family picnic
30. Have a family barbecue
31. Create emergency plans (fire escape)
32. Create a first aid kit
33. Take an etiquette class
34. Create a family tree
35. Create a history timeline
36. Create and practice a family play
37. Test drive cars
38. Go visit open houses
39. Cook a new recipe that is challenging
40. Learn a home repair
41. Start a collection (coins, rocks, beads, etc.)
42. Make a grocery list and shop
43. Create a family cookbook
44. Have a no rules night
45. Have a conga line
46. Work on a puzzle
47. Play miniature golf
48. Create a list of local “kids eat free” locations and days and eat at one
49. Create a family handshake
50. Create a family mission statement
51. Complete a science project
52. Label all the things in your house with a new language you want to learn
53. Have a bubble blowing contest
54. Have a water balloon fight
55. Have a push-up contest (dad has child on his back to level the playing field)
56. Watch a movie and critique it like professional critics
57. Take a local mission trip (visit homeless shelters and give meals)
58. Go bowling
59. Play laser tag
60. Have a home “professional” photo shoot (kids act as the “professionals”)
61. Write a family song or rap
62. Have a rap battle
63. Watch reruns of old shows that were popular when you were young
64. Go to a museum
65. Visit a local splash park
66. Go on a nature hike
67. Have a scavenger hunt
68. Visit the library
69. Go ice skating
70. Go to the barber shop together
71. Play hide-and-seek
72. Create a time capsule and bury it in the backyard
73. Have a family flash mob
74. Clip pictures of a dream home
75. Perform magic tricks
76. Collect and paint rocks
77. Visit a fire station
78. Go to a professional sports game
79. Collect leaves
80. Play foursquare
81. Have a Zoom, Google hangout or Skype call with out of town family
82. Play capture the flag
83. Have a family dinner out
84. Start a garden
85. Cook a meal together
86. Play kick the can
87. Go shopping (non-grocery)
88. Take things to Goodwill
89. Have a formal dinner at home (complete with servers, menu, dressing up, etc.)
90. Play Uno
91. Have a karaoke night
92. Collect seashells
93. Go fishing
94. Hang pictures in the house
95. Paint a bedroom
96. Listen to old school music (make the kids sing and dance along)
97. Have a family house party (kids play family DJ)
98. Watch old/classic movies
99. Fly kites
100. Set up recycle bins and recycling system
101. Make snow or sand angels
102.Bonus:Create your own list of 100+ things to do with your family
#5 Be Honest and Keep Your Word with Your Children
Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.
If you make a promise, keep it faithfully. Trust is a precious commodity… children naturally trust their parent(s), but trust can be easily shattered. Honor should be given by the child to his/her parent(s), but respect must be earned by the parent(s). It is also imperative for parents to be forthright enough to apologize to their children when they get it wrong. No parent is perfect… we will all have bad days, say things wrong, jump to conclusions, discipline out of anger or frustration etc. The important thing is when we mess up, we must be willing and humble enough to ask our kids to forgive us. This does not lessen our authority in the eyes of our children but amplifies it many times over!
Matthew 5:37 But let [a]your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.
Colossians 3:9 Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds,
Join me next week for “Biblical Instructions for Parents and Teenagers” Part #2 as we will look at Biblical Instructions to Teenagers.
If this blog post has grabbed your curiosity and you would like to know more please pursue any/all of the below options:
1- Contact me at pastor@missionchurchlex.org
2- Check out our church website Misisonchurchlex.org
3- Visit us for Community Celebration and Worship every Sunday at 9am and 11am (Facebook livestreaming available at 9am) and Mission Groups each Wednesday at 630pm. We are located at 3288 Beaver Creek Drive Lexington KY 40515.
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5- Continue to read this weekly blog- “Find your Why with Pastor D”